Here's a new squeeze toy for adults to relieve stress: It's a caricature of Bush. After all, isn't he the real reason for all your stress, anxiety, financial burdens, and political woes? Hasn't he put the squeeze on your economic situation, your gas tank, your civil liberties, your status in the world, your safety, your peace of mind, your every waking moment?
Now it's payback time - "bring'em on!" With the new and improved squeeze stress-reliever, a.k.a. "Squeeze Bush," you can take out your frustrations on the one causing all your problems without hurting anyone and, at the same time, actually enjoy yourself at his expense! This is easier than burning Bush's image in effigy and a lot less painful than starting a revolution. Just take out your squeeze toy, apply pressure, and his eyes, ears, and nose pop out for your amusement. Now isn't that an easy way to feel better?
Next time you read about increasing troops [read taxes] to be deployed in Iraq, an amnesty law for illegal immigrants [read taxes] here at home, a failed international summit meeting [read terrorism, new invasion, taxes], a new mandate [read rights taken away, taxes], or a corporate collaborative [read higher prices at the pumps, taxes], you can be sure a lot of people will be out there squeezing their "Squeeze Bush" de-stressers.
Stressed-out U.S. citizens of the world, unite! Take out your "Squeeze Bush" de-stressers and squeeze with all your heart and all your soul and all your might. Keep squeezing whenever you read a new headline, are subjected to a new law, are affected by an overturned or vetoed law, have a new tax, or are one of those who have been "left behind." Do you have health insurance, a pension, Social Security, a loved one in Iraq? Are you French? Then keep up the good fight and keep on squeezing your "Squeeze Bush" toy now!
Let everyone know the secret to your more relaxed state! Don't tell people to throw shoes. Tell them about the "Squeeze Bush" stress-reliever and how it has been the answer to your prayers when no one else has responded to your mental turmoil. Tell all your friends and acquaintances to go out and get one; they'll be relieved and in a happier, more accepting state of mind. Say to everyone you know, "Get out there and Squeeze Bush, today!"